In Colombia, there’s a common phrase people use when they’re angry: “¡me sacó la piedra!” (literally, “it made me pick up the stone”), referring to how, in a moment of anger, someone might grab a stone to throw it. I know, it’s a bit violent. This phrase came to mind because a lot of my motivation around my gender-related project stems from the anger I feel about injustice. It makes me angry that women have to adapt to fit in. Ultimately, it makes me want to pick up a stone.

With this in mind, I thought of creating a small intervention where people reflect on those situations that make them “pick up the stone,” and, in a literal sense — in a safe physical space — they can actually pick up a stone and break things with it. In the end, I would collect the debris and we would use it to create a mosaic.

Thinking about the different possibilities of approaching the research question and the intervention, I started considering how our minds and interpretations are shaped by our environments.

What if the gap I’m interested in is the gap in our minds concerning biases and sexist practices that we have normalized? How could we red flag our own red flags in our mind? Are our minds also designed by others or by ourselves? Are we even aware of possible new worlds that we cannot even describe yet?

If I continue down this path, I need to specify which part of the mind I’m referring to, as it is currently too ambiguous.

In an attempt to gain experience and start building a larger network of people interested in social change, I began working on designing and creating a festival by the end of August with a focus on Artivism in collaboration with Skaped, an organization focused on working with Artivism.

It feels like the right place to explore the possibilities of to making interventions since they are open to any of my ideas.

However, I feel there are many gaps I need to fill in. My project leader, her name is Erin, recently asked me what I want people to do in my workshop or performance, and I’m still unsure about it. I’m a bit overwhelmed by how to arrive at an answer and define my focus of interest again.

That being said, I will have the opportunity to reach a large audience, and I want to be ready to give my best. The Festival is going to be held in St Margarets House on Bethanl Green by the end of August.

Facing the challenge of changing my focus of interest has led to many fears. Nevertheless, I think it’s the right decision since, as I’ve said before, focusing on the sexist biases of objects was something that I didn’t feel was part of my expertise or something that would come easily to me. Realizing that and doing an internal review of topics that interest and motivate me, I understood that, of course, gender and inequality are subjects that drive me and have always been important to me. I decided to focus on the notion of safety and security that girls and women have on the streets, facing daily acts of sexism and misogyny that are highly reprehensible and disgusting.

With that in mind, my main concern lately is how I can frame my new interest within my previous research question. I’m afraid to abandon everything I’ve researched for a new subject that has its own set of complications and interests. Finding the gap I was interested in helped me understand that I need to delve deeper and, in a way, revisit everything I did in the past months.

My previous question was: How can we help people identify and question designs that reinforce power structures and inequality from a gender perspective? How can I frame this into my new subject?

Also, where does “Flag the Gap,” my project idea, fit here? Have I focused too much on the result and not enough on the process?

In my attempts to bring clarity, I’ve contacted The Feminist Library and a student from the MA in Social Innovation at LCC who is researching a similar topic. I’m also approaching new books related to the subjetc, and might get in contact with Make Space for Girls organization.